Cocktails? In the Magic Kingdom? Could it be true???

What’s keeping it from really being the Happiest Place on Earth? Cocktails, of course!

But we are teased… there is the Liberty Tree Tavern… and the first definition of “tavern” (according to the online version of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary) is “an establishment where alcoholic beverages are sold to be drunk on the premises”. And we’re promised in the new Fantasyland expansion an establishment called Gaston’s Tavern… will we find the desired Adult Beverages there? I doubt it… (okay, I know we won’t…).
Can I sue Disney for false advertising?

But why, oh why, do they tease us? Apparently if you live sometime in the unspecified future, in the Magic Kingdom you can be served martinis (with the biggest freaking olives you’ve ever seen) by your robot servant… okay I guess you’d have to live in the newly refurbed exit queue of Space Mountain, but is that too much to ask for a cocktail? I say no…

Every time I pass through Fantasyland and look upon that hill at what used to be the site of the Skyway station I think about how wasted that piece of land is, and, yes, what a great place it would be for a place to purvey adult beverages… Imagine if you will, there (or someplace else) Tink and her petite pixie pals serving as waitresses… and maybe even pole dancing Princesses… okay… I’m getting a bit carried away… pardon me, I need to excuse myself for a while…